Why Our Family Doesn’t Celebrate Gotcha Day – Adoption.com

BittersweetAdoption-13-300x150It was an unusually warm January day in 2013. The expectant mother and I had grown quite close in the short time we had known each other. She had a bad case of bronchitis. As a result, she was not getting much sleep and growing dehydrated. Her amniotic fluid was decreasing, so we were going to the hospital every few days for a non-stress test and fluid check. We had our overnight bags packed, anticipating that one of these visits would result in the big day coming a few weeks early. That day was The Day. We called our spouses so they could meet us there. Things were about to get moving. Good thing she and I grabbed lunch on our way!

“Gotcha Day” can come with many emotions for people on all sides of the triad.  From the term “gotcha” symbolizing an object to be gotten or the way you say “gotcha” when you scare or trick someone, to just not wanting to celebrate something that could have been emotionally devastating for others in the triad.  Click here to see why our family doesn’t celebrate Gotcha Day on adoption.com.

The Word Adopt – Adoption.com

adoption-definition-4-840x4201-300x150It seems to be a common theme for me lately to catch myself over-analyzing everything to do with adoption. When I don’t, and then see other adoptive parents upset about something, I ask myself, “Should I join in and be upset, too?” I wonder, “Am I missing something here?”

The word adopt seems to be a trigger for adoptive parents when used in situations other than the adoption of a child into a forever family.  In this article, I address the reasons why we are not the only people who get to use this word.  We did not coin the term.  Just like many words in the English language, this one has many definitions.  Click here to read the full story on adoption.com.

Creating a Dear Birth Mother Letter – Adoption.com

DearBirthMotherLetterTitle-20-300x150A question I often get asked or see online is: “How do I write a Dear Birth Mother Letter?” The simple answer is that everyone is different. There is no way of saying your letter is the perfect letter to be chosen by every expectant parent that reads it. Your letter, however, may be the perfect letter for that specific expectant parent that is looking for all the qualities YOU have. When this question gets asked on adoption forums, the language or term “Birth Mother” is usually the first to get addressed.  Adoption language is important and raises the hairs of many people when the “wrong” terminology is used. Below you will find out why the use of “Birth Mother” is not preferred as well as many other helpful things that will guide you in writing your introduction letter.

How can you make sure you stand out from a crowd, be respectful and include all the key points you want to make?  Click here to read the entire list of do’s and don’ts at adoption.com.

Mommy Wars Are Real – Adoption.com

adoption educationParents are all too familiar with the phenomena called Mommy Wars. I was watching a Disney movie called Zapped with my older son the other day, and the main character accused her boy crush of pretending to be competitive with other boys in order to be friends with them. He turned the tables on her and said that girls pretend to be friends in order to be competitive. How many of us are guilty of that? We have the choices between organic or regular, formula or breast milk, stay-at-home or working mom, public or private school, and the list goes on and on. Every day people compete with one another in so many areas of life. Parenting is no exception. How far can we take it?

In the adoption community, just like anywhere else, people are often in competition.  How can we support one another and learn to not compare our adoption to the adoptions other people have?  Click here to continue reading the article at adoption.com.

8 Aspects of a Home Study – Adoption.com

When people start their adoption journey, one of the most common fears I see is the anticipation leading up to the home study. I was no exception to this fear. The idea of having someone possess the ability to dash my hopes and dreams of becoming a parent again was terrifying. What if they didn’t like my furniture? What if my personality rubbed them wrong? What if they saw the dust I forgot to wipe off the ceiling fan? What if I had too many pets? A million what ifs. So what is a home study?

Please click here, to read the full article on adoption.com

Adoption Guilt?

guilt-07Adoption comes with complex emotions. Often, the emotions are consuming and misunderstood. One of the emotions that a lot of adoptive parents unexpectedly find themselves feeling is guilt. It can come as a surprise if you find yourself suddenly overwhelmed with emotions that you translate as guilt after you have adopted. It is not uncommon to feel adoption guilt…

It is normal to feel a wide variety of emotions while adopting.  The emotions can change minute to minute, day to day or year to year.  Being empathetic to the other members, while keeping things in perspective only help us learn and grow.  To read the full article, visit adoption.com.

What is Open Adoption?

WhatIsOpenAdoption-05Being so involved in the adoption community, it’s natural that I get a lot of inquiries from friends and random people seeking help in beginning their adoption journey.  One of the things I have to often remind myself is that I was once in their shoes.  In today’s adoption climate, open adoption is the norm.  But that doesn’t mean that everyone in the early stages of adoption knows about open adoption or is immediately comfortable with the idea…

To read the full article, please visit adoption.com