7 Considerations for Communicating with Your Birth Child – Adoption.com

Protecting our children from unnecessary confusion by setting boundaries with birth parents.

CommunicatingWithYourBirthChildOpen adoptions can be full of complex emotions. I have heard of many of different types of open adoption relationships. Some are smooth sailing while many have bumps in the road. “Boundaries” is a familiar topic when adoptive parents get together and discuss issues that arise in their relationship with their child’s first family. Most of us adoptive parents don’t like to set rules because we feel so honored to have this child entrusted to us. But when you look at boundaries as rule setting, you can set yourself up for failure. Instead, boundaries should be viewed as a method for maintaining a healthy relationship. Just as my family knows not to call too early in the morning or too late at night unless it’s an emergency, birth parents should know the limits of what we strive for to maintain normalcy. Setting the boundaries with the people in our lives means we can live comfortably, avoid unnecessary surprises, and not be annoyed because we didn’t let people know how we’d like our family to work.

Navigating an open adoption and the surprising emotions that come along with it mean that sometimes we say things before thinking.  Communicating with the child as well as with each other is so important.  To find out some tips on how to best communicate with your child placed for adoption, follow this link to adoption.com for more.  You will find tips with communicating with the child, but that when in doubt having a conversation with the adoptive parents is always a good idea too.  Together you can make sure the child’s best interests are always put first.

Radio Interview – Adoption Perspectives

The Adoption Perspectives radio show, out of Denver and sponsored by Parker Adventist Hospital, is hosted by a new friend and fellow adoptive mom who is in some of the same adoption groups with me. She invited me to be a guest on her show and I am so honored to have the opportunity! Thank you Rebecca Vahle for having me on your amazing segment!

Big shout out to all our friends and family who are standing by our side. They processed our infertility and while they may not have understood it at first, they became our biggest supporters in our adoption journey. My sister in law for instance, became our cheerleader and a shoulder to cry on when things were tough.  We had many people in our corner, giving advice or just supporting us and loving us in our journey.  These people ached with us when we experienced our first failed match, as they too were losing a child they were eager to love.  Although hesitant to open up to the possibility of having our second match actually happen, they did and we were blessed with the joy of Ezra.  All of our family has welcomed his first family into ours with open arms.  Thank you, to all of you!