Coming up with a comfortable and enjoyable location for open adoption visits can sometimes be challenging. Whether you are still working on building a relationship or you fit together like an old pair of shoes, you still want the visits to be in places that you have fun, can enjoy good conversation, and see the children in action. Some adoptive families and birth families live very close while many others live far apart. No matter what the distance, picking a location that everyone will enjoy can add stress to the day. I have compiled some of our favorite locations to get together during our open adoption visits to help take some of the planning off your plate.
Published 5/11/15 on adoption.com Choosing to place your child for adoption is an enormous decision that you surely won’t take lightly. Are you considering making an adoption plan? If you are, these ten tips will help you select the right adoption agency for you. Having a good agency to work with will help your journey go a lot smoother. Emotional support as well as help along the way and in the future is a vital part of the process. Are you considering making an adoption plan?
Published May 5, 2015 Adoption.com
“The Battle of Puebla, Mexico in 1862. The holiday of Cinco De Mayo, The 5th Of May, commemorates the victory of the Mexican militia over the French army at The Battle Of Puebla in 1862.” (Mexonline.com)
Learning the history of Cinco de Mayo is important so misconceptions aren’t passed along to the next generation. Did you already know what the Cinco de Mayo holiday was or did you just enjoy tacos and margaritas with friends each year? If your child is adopted from Mexico or of Mexican descent, learning the true meaning of the holiday can help them have pride in their heritage. Encourage your entire family to celebrate your child’s heritage and embrace the culture.
Gone are the days when etiquette was black and white. There is no formal code written on when it is most appropriate to hold a baby shower. There used to be so many rules on who could host, when it could be hosted, what gifts should be bought, food served, games played, etc. But times have changed, and so have the rules for adoption baby showers. There was a day and age where adoption itself was hush-hush, so adoption showers were unheard-of. If a shower was thrown for a mother via adoption, it was almost always small, indiscreet, and after placement. But why? Why should adoptions, which are so common, not be celebrated?
Many women do not want a baby shower prior to placement, but many women do. How should friends and family decide when to throw an adoption baby shower for the expecting couple? To read more about adoption baby showers, click to read the rest at adoption.com.
For Open Adoption Education and a great community for support, visit our page Heart For Open Adoption to join the discussions.
Whether you are considering adoption for yourself or would like to debunk some common adoption myths for friends and family, we are here to help you! Adoption can be a scary topic, especially as things have changed with how adoptions work now verses 20+ years ago. Built on fear and lack of knowledge, myths and misconceptions form. Horror stories told through the grape vine become distorted versions of the truth, and that is all people cling to. So let’s set the record straight on some of the most common myths in the adoption world. Open your mind and put your fears to rest. We won’t sugar coat the truth, but rather inform you so you can make the best decision for your family and educate your friends and extended family along your journey.
Whether adopting domestically, internationally or through foster care, there are many misconceptions about adoption. To see some of the top myths people hoping to adopt fear click here to read the whole list on adoption.com.
A question I often get asked or see online is: “How do I write a Dear Birth Mother Letter?” The simple answer is that everyone is different. There is no way of saying your letter is the perfect letter to be chosen by every expectant parent that reads it. Your letter, however, may be the perfect letter for that specific expectant parent that is looking for all the qualities YOU have. When this question gets asked on adoption forums, the language or term “Birth Mother” is usually the first to get addressed. Adoption language is important and raises the hairs of many people when the “wrong” terminology is used. Below you will find out why the use of “Birth Mother” is not preferred as well as many other helpful things that will guide you in writing your introduction letter.
Being so involved in the adoption community, it’s natural that I get a lot of inquiries from friends and random people seeking help in beginning their adoption journey. One of the things I have to often remind myself is that I was once in their shoes. In today’s adoption climate, open adoption is the norm. But that doesn’t mean that everyone in the early stages of adoption knows about open adoption or is immediately comfortable with the idea…
Something I have recently been proud to take on is volunteering for my county’s Children’s Services. The children that are waiting for their forever homes were in great need of updated profile pictures for the adoption website. As a photographer and adoptive mother, what better way to donate my time and ability than to provide them with new portraits! Now that I have photographed a lot of them, I want to share them with you. If you are looking to expand your family and have love and nurturing to provide. I hope you will consider these wonderful children!
For more information on the children listed below, please contact Butler County Children’s Services and speak to a social worker or adoption specialist. Please share this page with everyone you know. We need to find these wonderful kids their forever homes. While I had the pleasure of spending time with them for their portraits, I learned just how wonderful these kids are. Yes, they may need some special care to adjust to a new environment, but they are loving, polite and charismatic kids who eagerly want to be adopted!
300 N. Fair Ave.
Hamilton, OH 45011
Website: Butler County Children Services
Denessa (purple) and Anna (blue) are sisters.
1. You are so wonderful.
2. That is so wonderful.
Or some variation of the two. Maybe something like “Oh, God bless you. You are such an angel to adopt. He is a lucky boy!” What? I mean What?
I wrote a short blog about this last year and I have been thinking about expanding on it for some time now, as I see other adoptive parents encountering the same thing. Then I learned about the “Orphan Crisis” and that some church congregations or sects of people are actually patting themselves on the back for adopting. These people are fertile and have been blessed with biological children and adopt because they feel they need to save an orphan. So where are they finding these orphans? Sure some people, like Angelina Jolie spend time in other countries on movies or doing missionary work and learn about the problems that plague the area and fall in love with a sweet child they decide they’d like to adopt. This is not the case for most though. People are not plucking malnourished, homeless kids off the streets and bringing them home. They are adopting infants and going through agencies that people that just want children also go through.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that people with biological children can’t adopt. I have a biological son! So that surely isn’t what I am saying. I am also not saying that saying “God called me to adopt” is not a valid reason for expanding your family through adoption. What I am saying is, don’t talk about “saving your child” and bragging about how terrible his life was and how you are his savior. All “do you want a cookie?” or “pat yourself on the back” mentality stuff. We don’t adopt children to make ourselves feel like we did a good deed. We adopt them to make them part of our family. If you want to do a good deed, send money and food or volunteer. I am sure the child feels so great being made to feel like they owe their parents instead of just being loved by their parents. (sarcasm) Some kids really do come from bad situations and wanting to help them is not a bad thing. But, be honest with yourself and don’t make them feel like every step may lead them back to the original status.
The Orphan Crisis has nothing to do with domestic infant adoptions. Some articles I read stated how domestic infant adoptions are on the decline and they must figure out a way to change that. Seriously? Yes, I adopted a domestic infant, but do I wish to separate more children from their first mothers? Do I wish to use coercion tactics to get more women to make an adoption plan? No and NO!
Let me make this clear, To the first statement that people often say to me: I am not wonderful. I do not work with orphans, I am not a social worker or a missionary, I am not scooping up children without homes. I adopted because I wanted a child. My son wasn’t saved by me. He would have been just fine had his birth mother chosen to parent. He would have been adopted by someone else if I wasn’t there to adopt him.
Secondly, it is not wonderful to adopt. It is stressful, expensive, heart wrenching, confusing and time consuming. Then add in how my son will cope with his identity and emotions and he navigates life. Or how about the the loss he and his birth parents feel every day?
What part of any of it other than ME getting to be this boys mommy is wonderful?
What have you experienced and how do you handle it?
I am so blessed to have such a huge support network of other adoptive parents. So when I reached out to them, telling them I’d love to share the beauty of adoption through pictures of our children and quotes that touch our hearts, I got a great response! Thank you everyone who sent me pictures and quotes!