Coming up with a comfortable and enjoyable location for open adoption visits can sometimes be challenging. Whether you are still working on building a relationship or you fit together like an old pair of shoes, you still want the visits to be in places that you have fun, can enjoy good conversation, and see the children in action. Some adoptive families and birth families live very close while many others live far apart. No matter what the distance, picking a location that everyone will enjoy can add stress to the day. I have compiled some of our favorite locations to get together during our open adoption visits to help take some of the planning off your plate.
Protecting our children from unnecessary confusion by setting boundaries with birth parents.
Open adoptions can be full of complex emotions. I have heard of many of different types of open adoption relationships. Some are smooth sailing while many have bumps in the road. “Boundaries” is a familiar topic when adoptive parents get together and discuss issues that arise in their relationship with their child’s first family. Most of us adoptive parents don’t like to set rules because we feel so honored to have this child entrusted to us. But when you look at boundaries as rule setting, you can set yourself up for failure. Instead, boundaries should be viewed as a method for maintaining a healthy relationship. Just as my family knows not to call too early in the morning or too late at night unless it’s an emergency, birth parents should know the limits of what we strive for to maintain normalcy. Setting the boundaries with the people in our lives means we can live comfortably, avoid unnecessary surprises, and not be annoyed because we didn’t let people know how we’d like our family to work.
Navigating an open adoption and the surprising emotions that come along with it mean that sometimes we say things before thinking. Communicating with the child as well as with each other is so important. To find out some tips on how to best communicate with your child placed for adoption, follow this link to adoption.com for more. You will find tips with communicating with the child, but that when in doubt having a conversation with the adoptive parents is always a good idea too. Together you can make sure the child’s best interests are always put first.